The French language is filled with pitfalls for the non-native speaker. I have personally fallen into so many of them I have permanent bruises on my tongue.
Okay, I exaggerate. But I have become rather good at rolling with the punches when I make a faux pas.
The wonderful thing about an acquired language is that you are allowed to make mistakes. Of course everyone can make mistakes, but it feels like we get a special pardon for bloopers and blunders in French.
One of the my frequent funnies is confusing words that look similar but have very different meanings.
- Culot / culotte
‘Avoir du culot’ or ‘être culotté’ means to have a lot of nerve. A culotte, on the other hand, describes a type of ladies’ undergarment. ‘Perdre sa culotte’ means to lose one’s shirt, for example in a game of poker. But to go ‘sans culotte’ may require a certain culot. - Naturiste / naturaliste
You need a lot of culot to go to the plage naturiste (nudist beach). Unless you happen to stumble upon it in the way of a naturalist simply studying the fascinating wildlife. According to the French Naturist Federation, this country is the world’s leading destination for nudists. - Gâteaux / gâteux
I love cake so this first word is a piece of it. For many years I was confused by the expression ‘Mamie gateaux’, which affectionately describes an over-indulgent grandmother, thinking it had something to do with the verb ‘gâter’ which means to spoil. A word of advice: don’t tell your mother-in-law she is gâteux – senile, doddering or incontinent. - Jambe / jambon
My jambes (legs) may not be long and slender but they are not quite jambons (hams). Yet. - Cochonnerie / connerie
Speaking of ham, why do we blame the poor pig for everything? A mere syllable separates the familiar expression for junk food (cochonnerie) from that which describes an act of stupidity (connerie). Do not use either expression when attempting to describe your child’s diet to a pediatrician. - Piéton / pigeon
French drivers may not always distinguish between them, but pedestrians (piétons) are not pigeons. There are plenty of both on the streets of Paris so when in France it is best to watch where you put your pieds! - Baisser / baiser
You may well lower (baisser) your eyes. A single ‘s’ is all that separates the act of lowering with a much lower act. Although ‘baiser’ has a place in the dictionary to officially mean kiss (baiser la main), in actual fact it is only ever used to mean to screw or get screwed.
We all know someone who says ‘prostrate’ instead of ‘prostate’. Do you ever mix up your meanings in English or any other language?
FranceSays 
I find I make less mistakes with my own language, never mind French, if I just nod sagely but don’t open my mouth.Of course some will consider me wise and some gateux.
By the way, I’m confused. I always thought cullotes were a kind of ladies onsie worn over the undergarments? I’m sure I bought my sister one in the seventies, full of colour to blind onlookers.
xxx Massive Hugs Mel xxx
Oh, dear, David, I fear you may have got that wrong….or perhaps it is a Welsh usage? To my knowledge, culottes only ever describe a garment for the lower half of the body – possibly closest to the traditional ‘bloomers’ in English. When I was growing up this was the word for the split skirts that were like short pants ending just around the knee…For the French these days the term refers loosely to underpants. I wish I had a picture of your sister in her colourful version from the 70s! xo
My faux pas the other day was prounouncing the ‘t’ on chiot ~ we are on the lookoput for a puppy. I was told, by my lovely elderly neighbours, that this was a bad word (but of course not what it was). I have a terrible habit of prouncing the last letter when I shouldn’t which has led me into unnumberable faux pas moments.:-)
That’s a problem- Down here in deepest Aude, one DOES pronounce the last consonant in most words. Give me Northern French any day, the local accent is a minefield
Ha, ha…In our parts, it’s the z’s that get you – they’re most often silent but occasionally pronounced according to some unwritten rule. Like so much of life in this great land! 😉
Hilarious, I love it! Wish I’d thought of that one – it makes perfect sense for someone learning the language to think of a female version of chiot – chiotte!
Love these. Trop top.
Merci! Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Fantastic post. Have made and will continue to make loads of errors. More than that, I have a habit of using language which is way too familiar and raises a brow. I found myself pointing out ‘un mec’ on a train recently while chatting to a very pleasant elderly lady I had never met before, and she very kindly chose to ignore it but I am sure it was inappropriate on a first meeting!
Un mec, ha ha I know the feeling! How many times have I used inappropriately familiar slang with either family friends or business acquaintances. You can almost feel the ice forming…even if it often melts with forgiveness for your ‘foreign-ness’.
Another great installment in your series on language. You have picked some very good examples and right now I can’t think of any of this type of mistakes I make in English but I am certain there are tons…(Suzanne)
Cheers, Suzanne! I think we must all do funny things with language, perhaps even worse are the ones we’re not aware of? 😉
Rember Stephan’s hilarious and accurate “sleeping on his bay leaves ” for resting on his laurels
How could I forget? It was a perfectly good translation…but one of these days I’ll do a post specifically on his bloopers! (“I take a leek!”)
This is a great article! I have come here by chance thru WordPress but will bookmark and come back to read more.
Ok, I can think of one reverse case, with English: I’m French, and it seems the way I pronounce “focus” often gets appalled stares…
Merci, and glad to have you on board! Your example reminds me of a story my husband tells about being at a zoo in the U.S. as a child and crying out: “Look at the phoques!” 😉
merci, chère amie… you’ve made my afternoon… 🙂 most “faux pas” occur with people whose mother tongue is not from the same “linguistic family”… I’ve been lucky with French, as Romanian is also a Latin language: same vocabulary, grammar, syntax, expressions, proverbs, etc… 🙂
Mélanie dear, I am not surprised! I have a dear Romanian friend who is just as well versed in French as in English. You must have something in your veins! Merci mille fois! 🙂
🙂 avec joie et avec plaisir, encore et tjs – chère Mel… ❤
Of course I make bloopers aplenty in France …. for example asking a friend if they were familiar with the story of the tortoise and the baking powder (levure) rather than the hare (lievre) and the moment I asked to see the squirrels (écureuils) advertised as a feature of a house we were viewing … instead of stables (écuries) but being in the US is posing me a few problems in my own tongue as it happens – ‘Rest Room’?!!? 😀
Cannot for the life of me imagine you state-side. Of course, as a Canadian who also lived for several years in the US (Minneapolis), I am familiar with euphemisms like ‘rest room’. But really, is it any crazier than ‘water closet’? 😉
In my defence, I as an English girl have never EVER said ‘water closet’ – now loo …. definitely loo which when I stop and think about it is highly ridiculous! I can’t imagine me here either and it’s been nearly three months.
Hi, I just found you via wordpress too! having lived in France for years I, like you, have bruises on my tongue from language mishaps, but perhaps it is a good thing, we learn to laugh at ourselves and that is one thing we should all be able to do, laugh at our own silly mistakes. Laugh and I find the French laugh with us, all you need is a good sense of humour! Have a lovely weekend 🙂
So very true! It’s hard to take yourself overly seriously when your ego is bruised. Those moments of hubris have been very good life lessons – and you’re right – the French sense of humor is there, you just have to find it! 😉 Thanks for following and looking forward to reading you!
It’s a great leveler living in France, or any foreign country for that matter, one minute you can be on an almighty high, feeling you have totally conquered the language and moved into the space known as bi-lingual and the next, you’re back down in the beginners section again!!!
I love the bit about calling your mother-in-law a gateux which could mean that she is incontinent. Ha !
Yes, in all my innocence I still think that one hurt! Oops… 😉
Oh I still get prostrate and prostate wrong!
You’re not alone – but as long as you know the difference in meaning! ;-P
Hahah, yes I do 😉
Love it!!
Guess we’re all in the same boat!
Hahaha. I know these well, but here’s another pair: balai/baleine. At the beginning of my self-education in French, one of my French friends told me that the French have “un balai dans le cul” (a broomstick up the butt). A short time later, I was at a cocktail party. A small group of Frenchies were criticizing the French, so I decided to show off my French prowess and say…”Les francais ont une baleine dans le cul.” (The french have a whale up the butt) You can just imagine the silence….
Excellent! Sometimes I think the French definitely have a whale up their ass 😉